Highlights of My Infidelity Advice to Tiger Woods Wife

A few days ago I wrote an article entitled What Tiger Woods’ Wife Should Do if the Infidelity Rumors Are True. This article contained 17 suggestions as to what Elin Nordegren Woods should do if the infidelity rumors about Tiger turned out to be true.

This was a follow-up article to my previous article entitled An Infidelity Expert’s Advice to Tiger Woods Wife, which contained 18 suggestions, including coping strategies for dealing with suspected infidelity, or rumors of infidelity, and detailed information on how to go about uncovering the truth.

In view of the recent reports that Tiger Woods was involved with 3 different women – Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, and Kalika Moquin – I’m posting highlights from those 2 articles which appear on my National Infidelity Examiner page at Examiner.com

Women in Elin Nordegren Woods’ Situation Can Benefit from this Advice

Some of the suggestions were specific to Tiger Woods’ wife. But if you find yourself in a similar situation, you too, can benefit from this advice.

Below are 8 key points from my infidelity advice to Elin Nordegren Woods. The original articles can be found on my National Infidelity Examiner page at Examiner.com

Infidelity Advice for Tiger Woods’ Wife – 8 Key Points

1. Experts all agree that you should examine all the facts and have several non-confrontational discussions with the cheater about the cheating, so you can make an intelligent decision about what to do. Delay making a final decision about how to handle the matter until you are in possession of all the facts. See the free tip sheet entitled Go or Stay – How to Decide Whether to Give a Cheater a Second Chance.


2. Don’t speculate. Investigate. Separate rumor from fact. Since you are not bound by the same financial constraints as the average wife who finds out her husband is having an affair, hire a reputable private investigator who specializes in infidelity investigations to check out names, dates, places, incidents, and verify the facts. See the article entitled When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?

3. Get a grip on your emotions. If you can’t discuss the situation without losing your temper, have a neutral third party present when discussing the affair. (counselor, religious leader, or trusted family friend.) You’ve already seen how quickly the situation can get out of control.

4. Try to make an accurate assessment of the situation. Determine whether or not the affairs pose a serious threat to your marriage. See the article entitled Will He Leave You for Her?

5. Don’t waste any time or energy, or lower your dignity by attempting to confront the alleged other women. ( Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin) This is about you and Tiger -- not about them. See the article entitled What NOT to Do If He’s Cheating on You and the free tip sheet entitled 5 Things You Shouldn’t Do If He’s Cheating on You

6. If your decision is to save your marriage, engage the services of a qualified marriage and family counselor with extensive experience in handling issues of infidelity. Not every marriage counselor is trained or experienced in handling extramarital affairs. For a referral, call the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) or visit their website. See the article entitled Why Women Stay with Men Who Cheat.

7. Get tested for HIV/AIDS even if Tiger insists that he never had unprotected sex. And insist that Tiger be tested too. Your health and maybe even your life could be at stake (One of his alleged mistresses supposedly has a history of sleeping with married men.)

8. Don’t blame yourself. See the article entitled Are Wives to Blame When Their Husbands Cheat? Realize that the affair is not necessarily a negative reflection on you, or an indication of problems in your marriage. Infidelity studies have found that happy husbands cheat too, and that even good marriages are not immune to infidelity. See the articles entitled Happy Husbands Cheat, Too and Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat

For the latest information and advice on infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs, visit my National Infidelity Examiner page at Examiner.com

15 Reasons a Wife Should Give Thanks if She Has a Faithful Mate

This Thanksgiving, any wife with a faithful husband has a lot to be thankful for.

Infidelity statistics indicate that 3 out of every 4 men are cheating on their mates.

Faithful husbands are few and far between.
See the article entitled Be Thankful This Thanksgiving if You Have a Faithful Mate.

If you’re fortunate enough to be the 1 wife out of every 4 whose husband isn’t having an affair, there are 15 things you should be thankful for.

1. Be thankful that your marriage and family are still intact.

2. Be thankful you that don’t have to fight over which parent your children will spend Thanksgiving with this year.

3. Be thankful your husband hasn't packed his bags and moved in with his mistress.

4. Be thankful your husband hasn’t surprised you with divorce papers out of the blue.

5. Be thankful you don’t have to go through a custody battle over your children.

6. Be thankful you don’t have to deal with the mental and emotional trauma that infidelity brings.

7. Be thankful you don’t have to sit home alone at night wondering where your husband is, or who he’s with.

8. Be thankful you haven’t contracted a sexually transmitted disease because your husband had unprotected sex with someone else.

9. Be thankful your husband hasn't emptied your joint bank account or used family funds to finance his extramarital affair.

10. Be thankful you don’t have to agonize over the difficult decision of whether or not to stay with a cheating mate.

11. Be thankful you don’t have to shell out money to a divorce attorney to help you bring your marriage to an end.

12. Be thankful you don’t have to persuade your husband that the two of you need to see a marriage counselor to get your marriage back on track.

13. Be thankful you’re not one of those 26 million unsuspecting wives who didn’t know her husband was having an affair.

14. Be thankful you’re not an object of pity among your family and friends because you were the last to know.

15. Be thankful the time and energy you’ve invested in your marriage have not been in vain.

Not Sure if Your Husband is One of the Faithful Few?

If you’re not quite sure whether your husband is among the cheaters, or the faithful few, then be thankful you found this article. Here a way for you to find out. Request a free copy of the special report entitled Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? - 21 Ways You Can Tell, by e-mailing InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “21 ways -tkb" in the subject line.

You’ll be thankful you did.


For more information about infidelity, cheating husbands or extramarital affairs, see the following articles, tip sheets and special reports:

Be Thankful This Thanksgiving if You Have a Faithful Mate

Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? - 21 Ways You Can Tell (free infidelity report)

What Should I Do If I Think He or She is Cheating on Me?

3 Things a Wife Stands to Lost by Being the Last to Know

How Do You Catch a Cheating Husband?

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (book)

Why the wife is still the last to know

How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand (free tip sheet)

13 Things Everyone Should Know About Signs of Infidelity

Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports

Infidelity Resources to Help You catch a Cheating Mate

For the latest infidelity articles and infidelity advice, visit my National Infidelity Examiner page at Examiner.com

Special Announcement

ATTENTION: Visitors from GMTV and the UK:

For the convenience of customers outside the United States, infidelity expert Ruth Houston’s book, Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is available as an immediately downloadable e-book for $37 from Booklocker.com at http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html

Is He Cheating on You exposes all types of infidelity, including emotional infidelity, cyber, online or internet infidelity, workplace infidelity, same sex infidelity, financial infidelity and more.

For more information about Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, visit http://ishecheatingonyou.blogspot.com/
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How to Catch a Cheating Mate

Many people mistakenly believe they need to hire a private investigator or buy expensive surveillance equipment to catch a cheating spouse or significant other. If you’re familiar with the signs of infidelity, all you really need are your own eyes and ears and your personal knowledge of your mate. Knowing what to look for is the key.

Stay Alert

If you suspect your mate of infidelity, you’ll need to be very observant. Pay close attention to everything he or she says or does from now on. Short of a confession – which is unlikely, or an accidental discovery, this is the only way you will find out the truth. The majority of telltale signs are subtle, but once you know what to look for, most of them are easy to spot.

NOTE: Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Most of the signs in the book are universal, and apply to cheating woman and cheating men.

During this information-gathering period, don’t let a single day pass without searching for signs of infidelity. The signs that are evident one day may be undetectable the next. Be alert to for anything unusual, or any departures from your partner’s norm.

Write Down Everything You Find

Document everything! Keep accurate records of whatever you find -- names, dates, times, locations, suspicious incidents, phone calls, absences, meetings, excuses or alibis given, etc. Don’t rely on your memory. Record your findings in a journal and keep it safely under lock and key. Once you have everything down on paper, you can analyze what you’ve found for patterns of behavior.

Does he go to the store for a beer at 8:30 every Thursday night? Does he walk the dog for an extra hour on the first and third Sunday of each month? Does she put on cologne to go work out at the gym? Does she wear sexy lingerie only on days she calls home to say she has to work late? Patterns like these will only be evident if you document everything you find.

Exercise Caution and Be Discreet

Make photocopies or take photos of phone numbers, e-mails, letters, receipts and any other incriminating evidence you find. Then put things back exactly as they were. Keep your “evidence journal” in a safe place. You’ll need the proof you’ve found when you sit down and inform your mate that you know about the affair.

Be discreet while conducting your investigation. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut. Be careful not to tip your hand. If your spouse or significant other figures out what you’re up to, they’ll start hiding evidence, or covering up their tracks.

Don’t Ask, Because He Won’t Tell

You may be tempted to question your mate about some of the evidence you’ve found. My advice to you is - DON’T. Now is not the time. Say nothing until you have all the facts at hand. Above all, DO NOT ASK IF HE OR SHE IS CHEATING. They will only tell you a lie. It usually takes solid evidence to get a cheating mate to confess to having an affair. Even then, many cheaters, still continue to lie.

Restrain Yourself

It will be difficult to restrain yourself as you document your findings and the evidence begins to mount. You’ll be tempted to drop a few hints, just to let your mate know that you’re not a fool. Keep your lips zipped until you have all the facts. There’s nothing to be gained by dropping hints or letting your mate know what you suspect. Don’t lose the advantage you have by revealing your knowledge too soon.

Build a Strong Case for the Confrontation

Once you have solid evidence that your mate is cheating on you, confront him or her with the evidence you’ve gathered and tell them you know about the affair. If your evidence is solid, and your case is strong, he or she can’t deny the truth. Especially if you’ve got everything down in black and white. That’s why it’s important for you to keep accurate notes.

Calmly discuss the affair with your mate. Ask all your unanswered questions at this time. Listen to what he or she has to say. Then use this information to help you formulate an appropriate plan of action to take.

A WORD OF CAUTION: Do not jeopardize your safety to search for telltale signs. If your mate is hot-tempered, aggressive, or has a history of violent behavior, leave the detective work to a pro. And have a trained professional, or other third party present when you confront you mate about the affair. Do not put yourself or your children at risk.

This information on how to catch a cheating mate is adapted from Chapter 4 of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs. This infidelity reference book documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Most of the signs apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men.

For your convenience, the signs of infidelity in "Is He Cheating on You?" are grouped into 21 major categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your marriage or your mate.

The soft cover version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is available from http://www.ishecheatingonyoubook.com/ or from Amazon.com, or 1-800-431-1579.

The e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs is available from Booklocker.com. and comes with a special section for men entitled Is SHE Cheating? plus a bonus section with Affair Recovery information. Order for immediate download from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html

For more information about either version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, click here or visit http://ishecheatingonyou.blogspot.com/

Will He Leave You for the Other Woman?

ATTENTION
To read my comments on Jenny Sanford’s interview in the September 2009 issue of Vogue magazine about her husband’s affair, click here

or visit my page at Examiner.com
http://www.examiner.com/x-17416-NY-Infidelity-Examiner
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Will He Leave You for the Other Woman?

You found out your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you.

The one question you keep asking yourself over and over is;

“Will he leave me for her?”

There is a way to tell, but the answer depends on several things, including:

● how close he and his mistress have become

● what kind of person she is

● what stage the affair is in

● what he stands to gain or lose.

There are certain signs of infidelity that can tell you whether his affair with the Other Woman is a serious threat to your marriage or relationship, or if it’s just a fling.

The 5 signs below are indications indicate that your husband or boyfriend is likely to leave you for the woman he’s been seeing behind your back.

1. He has a heavy financial investment in her, or in the affair.

If you find financially-related signs of infidelity which indicate that he’s paying her rent, mortgage, car note, utilities, credit card or other major bills; or find signs that he’s regularly depositing money into her bank account, the situation does not look good. Especially if the two of you are married. If he’s willing to use family funds to finance his affair, or keep his mistress happy, this is a very bad sign.

2. He begins to distance himself from you, your family, and mutual friends.

Distancing himself from you can manifest itself in many ways. He may no longer want to go places or do things with you – even things the two of you once enjoyed doing together. He may make excuses, or flat out refuse to attend family gatherings with you, or socialize with mutual friends. These are just a few of the signs that he’s gradually removing himself from your world, and becoming more firmly entrenched in hers.

3. He spends holidays, weekends, or takes regular vacations with her.

The frequency and duration of the time he spends with his mistress can be a big indication that he’s planning to leave you for her. Holidays, weekends, and vacation time are usually reserved for family. If he’s spending couple time, or family time with her, that’s a sure sign that their relationship is more than just a fling.

4. He and his mistress share a common passion.

If he and his mistress have many interests in common, or share a common passion – golf, foreign films, horseback riding, photography, stamp or coin collecting, or some other hobby or pastime that is near and dear to his heart -- the likelihood is very high that he will leave you for her. If he’s doing all the fun things in his life with her, and all the boring, day-to-day things with you, that only increases his desire to be with her.

5. He has bonded emotionally with her.

Has he stopped sharing his inner thoughts with you? Does he no longer discuss his aspirations or the goals he wants to achieve? Do you find out about important things in his life after the fact? If he’s now confiding in his mistress rather than you, the situation is very grave indeed. If she is the first person he calls to talk to when something significant happens to him -- good or bad, he has bonded emotionally with her, and you have ceased to be a priority in his life. If he’s sharing his hopes, dreams, fears, and future plans with her, and constantly turning to her for emotional support, it’s just a matter of time before he leaves you for her.

What if You Don’t Find Any Signs

If you don’t see any of these or similar signs, then either his affair is still in the early stages, or
it’s not a threat to your marriage or relationship – yet.

Either way, you need to take positive action because the longer the affair continues, the greater the likelihood that it will become serious as time goes on. The bonds he shares with his mistress will probably strengthen over time.

Check His Mistress Out

It’s also advantageous for you to know who his mistress is, so make it your business to find out. For details on how this can help you, see the article entitled What You Should Know About Your Husband’s Mistress and Why.

If you need to trace a phone number or an e-mail address to find out her name, use CheatingSpousePhoneSearch.com or CheatingSpouseEMailSearch.com or a similar reputable service. Once you have her name, go to CheatingSpouseBackgroundCheck.com and run a background check to find out as much as about her you can.

If she’s married, or has children, that complicates matters for your husband or boyfriend and makes it less likely that he’ll leave you for her – even if you do find one or more of the signs mentioned above.

If a discreet online background check reveals that she has a criminal background, a questionable past, a reputation for being a home wrecker or a gold digger, bringing this to you’re his attention may keep him from making a terrible mistake.

Take Action Before It’s Too Late

That’s why it’s important to spot the warning signs of infidelity while the affair is still in the early stages. See the article entitled 3 Things a Wife Stands to Lose by Being the Last to Know.

You’ll have a valuable window of opportunity to get your marriage or relationship back on track before the affair reaches the point of no return.

If your relationship can’t be saved, or if you’d rather not even try, knowing in advance that he might leave you gives you a chance to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. If you’re married, it gives you time to put some legal and financial safeguards in place before he surprises you with divorce papers, or decides to simply walk out on you and move in with her.

For a list of practical steps you can take, request a copy of the free tip sheet “How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand” by e-mailing InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “Upper Hand - b” in the subject line.

Copyright 2008-2009 Ruth Houston

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses and extramarital affairs, visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/

You Need to Check Out His Mistress - Here’s Why and How

Steve McNair’s tragic death at the hands of his mistress underscores the need for any woman who knows her husband or boyfriend is cheating to check his mistress out.

There’s no indication that Mechelle McNair knew her husband, Steve McNair, was having an affair. But if she had known, and had checked out his mistress and found out that Sahel Kazemi was mentally unstable, she may have been able to talk McNair into leaving this troubled young woman alone.

Instead, McNair, a former NFL star was shot dead in his sleep by his 20-year-old mistress, leaving 4 sons and his devoted wife or 12 years.

If you know your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you, this may be one of the most important things you’ll ever read.

It covers why you need to find out as much as possible about his mistress, the risks to you’re your children and your husband if you don’t, what you need to find out about her, and how to check her out.

There are certain things you need to know about this woman. There are several reasons why it’s to your advantage to check her out.

Why You Need to Check His Mistress Out

You need to know who and what kind of person your husband has is dealing with.

Your life, his life, your children’s lives and financial well-being may depend on the kind of information you find and how you use what you know.

Especially if he’s dealing with someone who has ulterior motives, or who is emotionally fragile or mentally unstable.

Exactly who is this woman?

Does she live in your neighborhood? In your city or town? In another city or state?

How old is she?
Young women in their late teens or early 20’s, like McNair’s mistress, Sahel Kazemi tend to be unpredictable.

Several years ago, Joey Buttafucco’s young mistress, Amy Fisher, went to Joey’s home and shot his wife in the head.

What will she do if your husband tries to leave her?
Will she go off the deep end and try to harm him, you, or your children?

Will she try to destroy your house, car, place of business or other personal property?

Is she mean-spirited? Hot-tempered? Vindictive?
If he leaves her, will she try to get back at him in some way?

Back in the 80’s Jean Harris went to her lover Herman Tarnower’s home, and shot and killed him.

And we see what happened this month with Sahel Kazemi and Steve McNair.

Does she have a history of violence?
Will she attempt to harm you, your husband, or your children if things don’t go her way?
Do you need get an order of protection?

Back in the 80’s Jean Harris went to her lover Herman Tarnower’s home, and shot and killed him.

Is she a stalker?
Will she harass you, your children, or other members of your family?

Does she have a reputation as a home wrecker? Or a history of dating married men?

What are her motives?

Is she out for just a fling, fun and games, a good time?

Is she a gold digger with a reputation for going after wealthy or prominent men for money, gifts, favors, and whatever else she can get?

Is she looking for a steady meal ticket? Will she attempt to get pregnant by your husband so she can collect child support?

Or is she in love with your husband, and is trying to get him to divorce you and marry her?

If she succeeds in getting your husband to move in with her, or to divorce you to marry her, you may be able to sue her for alienation of affections, depending on the state where you live.

Does she own a home, a business, a car, boat, or property of some kind.?
Does she have enough assets to make a lawsuit worth your while?

If it’s a workplace affair, will she try get your husband fired, or ruin his reputation by charging him with sexual harassment on the job?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
How far would she go to even the score?
Would she accuse yoour husband of rape?

Is she promiscuous? Does she sleep around?
Do your and your husband need to be tested for HIV/AIDS?

As you can see from the tragic death of Steve McNair, it pays to know who your husband is dealing with.

(Besides, if he’s been seeing her for a while, you might be surprised to find out how much she knows about you.)

How to Check Her Out

To check his mistress out, you need to know her name so you can run a background check.
If you don’t know who she is, there's an easy way to find out.

Check your husband’s his cell phone or e-mail account, and write down any suspicious or unfamiliar phone numbers or e-mail addresses you find. Then use a reputable service like http://www.cheatingspousephonesearch.com/ or http://www.cheatingspouseemailsearch.com/ to do a reverse search to find out who the phone number and e-mail address belong to.

Once you have her name, you're ready to do an online background check.

It’s quick, easy, affordable, and can be done from the privacy of your own home. All you need is a computer with internet access. It’s s completely confidential.
Unless you tell, no one will know you checked her out.

For less than the price of a bag of groceries, reputable online services like http://www.cheatingspousebackgroundcheck.com/ will give you access to public records containing any or all of the following information:

Report includes address, birth date, maiden name, marriages, divorces, relatives, property ownership, personal assets, - business, house, boat, car, court records, personal assets, criminal records, known associates, roommates, neighbors and more. All you need is her name.

Regardless of whether you plan to stay with your cheating husband or leave him – or even if you’re not sure right now, you need to find out who his mistress is, and check her out.

A discreet background will help you find out what kind of person he’s dealing with, and whether or not you have cause for concern.

3 Reputable and Affordable) Services You Can Use

http://www.cheatingspousephonesearch.com/

http://www.cheatingspouseemailsearch.com/

http://www.cheatingspousebackgroundcheck.com/

For more information about these services, click here.

You might also want to send for the FREE tip sheets below:

How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand
Send an e-mail to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words Upper Hand – bms in the subject line.

Go or Stay – How to Decide Whether to Give a Cheater a Second Chance
Send an e-mail to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words Go or Stay – bms in the subject line.

For more FREE infidelity tip sheets, visit http://freeinfidelitytipsheets.blogspot.com/

If He’s Cheating, Take a Firm Stand Like Jenny Sanford

ATTENTION
To read my comments on Jenny Sanford’s interview in the September 2009 issue of Vogue magazine about her husband’s affair, click here

or visit my page at Examiner.com
http://www.examiner.com/x-17416-NY-Infidelity-Examiner
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If He’s Cheating, Take a Firm Stand Like Jenny Sanford

When a betrayed wife, like Jenny Sanford, finds out that her husband has had, or is having an extramarital affair, she is faced with the difficult task of trying to decide whether or not to give him a second chance.

It’s not an easy decision for any woman to make. She may have invested many years of her life in her marriage. Often there are children involved. There may be financial implications, as well.

Many factors have to be taken into consideration before a final decision is made, including the circumstances of the infidelity, and the cheating husband’s attitude about the affair. Women who make a decision on the spur of the moment, usually regret the choice they have made.

NOTE: The free Go or Stay tip sheet covers many of the factors a wife should consider when trying to decide whether to give a cheating husband a second chance.

Save Your Dignity and Your Marriage by Taking a Firm Stand

What if you find yourself faced with this situation. What should you do? There are several steps you should take to preserve your dignity and pave the way for saving your marriage if that is ultimately what you decide to do. Like Jenny Sanford, you need to speak up and take a firm stand. Even if you later decide that leaving or putting him out is the best course of action to take, the steps below will serve you well.

What to Do When You Find Out About His Affair

Control Your Emotions - Get a grip on your emotions. Give yourself a few hours or a few days before confronting your husband about his affair. If you react on the spur of the moment, you might say or do something you will later regret.

Confront Him and Tell Him You Know - Confront your husband with the proof you’ve obtained that he is, or has been cheating on you. Tell him you know about the affair. Note that I said TELL him you know. This means you must already have solid proof of his affair. DO NOT ask him if he’s cheating – he will only tell you no.

Tell Him You Disapprove – Don’t beat around the bush. Let him know that you disapprove of the affair. Make it clear to him, in no uncertain term, that you want it to stop.

Tell Him to End it NOW - Insist that he end the affair immediately. No long, drawn-out, extended goodbyes like Gov. Mark Sanford’s 5 day goodbye to his mistress Maria Belen Chapur. He does not need to say goodbye face-to-face. He can either call, e-mail, or write her a letter to tell her that the affair is over, and he won’t be seeing her again.

Have Him Cut Off ALL Contact with His Mistress – Be very clear that you expect him to have no further contact with his mistress. He should cut off ALL communication with her. No contact means exactly that - NO CONTACT – no e-mails, phone calls, no text messages, no personal visits with the Other Woman.

Warn Him What Will Happen If He Does it Again - Let him know there will be serious consequences if it happens again. And be prepared to follow through. Get professional legal and and financial advice so you know what your options are.

Make Him Earn Your Trust - Let him know- like Jenny Sanford –that you are willing to forgive him, but that forgiveness is not being handed to him on a silver platter. Make sure he understands that he has to earn your trust and your forgiveness by his words and deeds from now on.

Seek Professional Counseling – Find a marriage and family counselor who is experienced in dealing with infidelity. Studies indicate that couples who seek professional counseling are more likely to stay together. If this is not possible, invest in one or more books on surviving infidelity (there are several good ones available) and read them together.

Is He Still Cheating? Will He Cheat Again?

Two of the biggest fears you will face when deciding to take your husband back are the fear that the affair is still going on, and the fear that he will cheat on you again. Both of these are valid fears, considering the fact that your husband’s affair probably went on for quite some time before you discovered what was going on.
NOTE: The free Go or Stay Tip Sheet (mentioned below) has more detailed information about these two fears, and how you can cope with, or overcome them.

There are discreet ways to find out if he’s still calling, e-mailing , or texting his mistress behind your back after agreeing to cut off all communication with her. If you find a suspicious phone number or e-mail address, run a reverse phone number check or a reverse e-mail address check to find out if belongs to. her You can also run a background check on her. This is also a good way to find out more about his mistress, or find out who she is, if you don’t already know.

What kind of person is she? Where does she live and work? Is she someone you should be concerned about? Is she a stalker? A violent person who will attempt to harm you, your husband or your children? Is she married? Does she have children of her own? Does she have a criminal background? Is she a gold digger, a black mailer who will wreak havoc in your life? Running a discreet background check on your husband’s mistress will help you find out what kind of person he’s dealing with, and whether or not you have cause for concern.

Below are 3 reputable (and affordable) services a betrayed wife can use to discreetly check phone numbers, and email addresses, or run background checks. You can do this from your own computer in the privacy of your home.

http://www.cheatingspousephonesearch.com/

http://www.cheatingspouseemailsearch.com/

http://www.cheatingspousebackgroundcheck.com/

For more information on resources for betrayed wives, click here, or visit
http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/2009/01/infidelity-resources-you-requested-to.html

Affair Recovery Advice

If you have already decided to stay with your husband, I strongly recommend the e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs because it comes with a bonus section that contains the affair recovery information below

• What the Two of You Must Do to Survive Your Husband’s Affair
• Advice for the Husband Who Cheated
• Advice for the Betrayed Wife
• Can Your Marriage Survive His Affair? - Questionnaire
• Will He Cheat Again? – Questionnaire

This information will be especially helpful to you if you’re trying to reconcile with a cheating mate. ONLY the E-BOOK VERSION, (NOT the soft cover version) of Is He Cheating on You? contains this information. It is available from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html for $37
Click here to order your personal copy now.

FREE Tip Sheets to Help Wives with Cheating Husbands

The free infidelity tip sheets and special reports below can help regardless of whether you’ve decided to leave your husband, or stay with him and give him a second chance. Even if you haven’t decided yet, what course of action to take, these tip sheets can help bring clarity to your situation.

• 5 Things You Shouldn’t Do If He’s Cheating on You

• How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand

• Go or Stay Should You Give Your Cheating Husband a Second Chance?

To request one of the FREE tip sheets above, send an e-mail to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with either "5 Things – bJS,” or “Upper Hand – bJS” or “Go or Stay - bJS” in the subject line, depending on which tip sheet you are requesting.

When Men Become Victims of Infidelity

We usually think of infidelity victims as being women. But as the rate of female infidelity continues to rise, an increasing number of men have found themselves on the receiving end of infidelity.

If you are a man whose wife or girlfriend is cheating on you, you need to be aware that her infidelity could adversely affect you in many ways. Those of you who are fathers should also be aware that if the mother of your children is having an affair, her infidelity can have an adverse effect on them too. The second half of this article (Other Problems You May Face) explains how.

How a Man Can Be Affected by Infidelity

If you’re on the receiving end of infidelity, you can be affected psychologically, physically, financially, and a number of other ways, too.

Psychologically

● The shock of discovering that your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you can affect your work performance to the point that it could cause you to lose your job.

● The mental stress of worrying about who she’s cheating with, how long it’s been going on, who else knows about it, whether she’s going to leave you for him, why she cheated, what went wrong, how you can win her back – all this can make you susceptible to drug or alcohol abuse.

Physically

● If she’s had unprotected sex with her lover, and you’ve been sexually active with her during that time, your health could be in jeopardy.

● You may have unknowingly been exposed to sexually transmitted diseases which could cause you to become sterile and incapable of fathering (more) kids.

● You may have been exposed to HIV/AIDS.

Financially

● If she divorces you, you’ll find yourself saddled with child support, and maybe alimony too.

● If she becomes pregnant by her lover, you may unknowingly end up raising another man’s child.

● If she charges gifts for her lover on your joint credit cards, you could end up footing the bill for her affair.

Other Problems You May Face

Many men have had their lives destroyed by their wife’s or girlfriend’s affairs. Below are some of the other problems and indignities you, and (any children you have) may face.

● She may suddenly end your relationship, or hit you with a surprise divorce.

● If her infidelity leads to divorce, you probably won’t get custody of your children because of maternal bias in the courts.

● You may lose contact with your children if she leaves and takes them with her, or if she remarries and moves to another state.

● If she remarries, you’ll have to deal with another man raising your children.

● If she’s vindictive, you may find yourself falsely accused of child molestation or child abuse.

● You may be require to move out of the marital home and find someplace else to live.

● If you have aggressive tendencies, may resort to domestic violence or assault her lover, and end up in jail

● The trauma of infidelity could drive you to commit suicide.

● If she walks out on you and the children, you’ll end up trying to raise your children alone.

● You may lose the respect of some of your male friends when they find out she cheated on you.

● The fact that she cheated on you could totally destroy your self-esteem.

You Can’t Afford To Be The Last To Know

You don’t want to find yourself in any of the situations above. If your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you, you can’t afford to be the last one to know. It could cost you your marriage, your money, and your health.

Unfortunately, most men have no idea their wife or girlfriend is having an affair. If you’re unfamiliar with the subtle signs of infidelity (as most men are), by the time you find out she’s cheating, it may already be too late.

Precautions You Can Take

Infidelity affects 80% of all marriages and committed relationships today. Fortunately there are precautions that you can take. The good news is that a woman on the verge of having an affair will display many subtle signs of infidelity, long before the physical act of infidelity takes place. If you know how to spot these signs, may be able to stop the affair before it starts. But knowing what to look for is the key.

Recognizing the Signs of Infidelity

If you want to safeguard your marriage or relationship, your best bet is to educate yourself about female infidelity. Learn to recognize the signs of infidelity, and you’ll have a fighting chance to save your marriage/ relationship before it’s too late. It will also give you ample time to protect your assets, in case she’s planning to leave you, or surprise you with a divorce.

The future of your marriage and your relationship with your children (if you are a father) may depend on your ability to spot the signs of infidelity in time.

Start by familiarizing yourself with both the subtle, as well as the obvious signs of infidelity.

Request a FREE copy of the special report Is She Cheating? – 21 Ways You Can Tell, which covers the 21 major categories of infidelity signs. E-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with the words 21 ways-bfd in the subject line.

More Help If You Have a Cheating Wife or Girlfriend

You should also seriously consider investing in a copy of the popular infidelity reference book, Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs. It covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men. Click here to buy the book now. Or order from http://www.ishecheatingonyoubook.com/ or Amazon.com. Or call 1-800-431-1579.

Is He Cheating on You is also available as a downloadable e-book from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html The e-book version (NOT the soft cover) has a special section for men entitled Is SHE Cheating? And a special bonus section with affair recovery information. Click here to order the e-book version now.

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses and extramarital affairs, visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/

Why Elizabeth Edwards and Other Wives Stay with Husbands Who Cheat

Elizabeth Edward’s new book , Resilience, has once again raised the question of why women stay with men who cheat.

Understanding Why Women Stay with Cheating Men

It’s hard for some people to understand why Elizabeth Edwards and other wives with cheating husbands chose to stay with the man who cheated on them, rather than file for a divorce. But most people who criticize betrayed wives like Elizabeth Edwards for the choice they have made, have never been on the receiving end of an affair.

You Never Know Til it Happens to You

Some wives are quick to say that if their husband ever cheated on them, the marriage would be over – they’d leave the cheater or put him out. However, after 15 years of researching infidelity, and interviewing women with cheating mates, I have found that most women who make statements like this have never personally experienced infidelity.

I have also known many women who initially felt this way until they found out their husbands were having an extramarital affair. You never really know how you’ll react in this situation until it happens to you.

12 Reasons Women Stay

There are many reasons a betrayed wife would stay with a cheating husband rather than leaving him or filing for divorce. 12 of those reasons are listed below:

· For the sake of the children

· Desire to keep the family intact

· Poor Health· Loyalty

· Financial reasons

· Convenience

· Bad timing

· Fear of being alone

· Belief that it won’t happen again

· Unwillingness to give up current lifestyle

· Religious beliefs

· Love

Any, or all of these reasons could apply to Elizabeth Edwards -- or to you – if your husband has had an affair. These are by no means the only reasons. There are other reasons, as well -- reasons which may make sense only to the woman involved.

In Elizabeth Edwards’ situation, her health is deteriorating - she has terminal cancer, and she also has two young school-aged children. Do people really expect a woman in her position to let anger, bitterness, or the desire for revenge overrule her common sense?

Not an Easy Decision to Make

I happen to know from my personal experience as a victim of infidelity, as well as from the thousands of female infidelity victims I’ve interviewed in my research over the past 15 years, that the decision to end a marriage does not come that easily or that fast.

In deciding whether to dissolve your marriage or stay with a cheating husband and give him a second chance, many factors must be taken into consideration.

Most women spend weeks, months, or even years, agonizing over what to do. Most of the women who make the life-altering decision to leave a cheating spouse on the spur of the moment without taking everything into consideration, usually regret the choice they’ve made.

No One-Size-Fits-All Solution

When it comes to dealing with infidelity, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for handling the situation. No one should presume to tell another woman how she should handle her husband’s infidelity. You have to make the choice that’s right for you. Whether you should file for divorce or stay with your husband and your marriage a second chance is a decision that only you can make. What’s right for one woman in the same situation may be totally wrong for you.

In the long run, you have to decide what is in your best interests to do, especially if there are children involved. It’s your decision – and yours alone -- to make. And people should respect your choice.

So regardless of whether people agree with Elizabeth Edwards’ decision to remain with John or not, the bottom line is that it was her decision – and hers alone -- to make. She is the one who has to live – or die – with her choice.

FREE Tip Sheet to Help You Make the Right Choice

For a free copy of the tip sheet entitled Go or Stay? which covers many of the factors you should consider in deciding whether or not to give your cheating husband a second chance, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “go or stay” in the subject line.

How Infidelity Affects Mothers

If you are a mother, and your husband is cheating on you, you'll want to be aware that his infidelity can affect you --and by default - your children in 3 ways.

Your husband’s extramarital affair can take its toll on you psychologically, physically and financially. For details on how infidelity can affect you as a mother in each od these 3 ways, continue reading below.

Psychologically

If your husband is cheating on you, it can lead to psychological issues that can negatively impact the way you interact with your children. You may be so pre-occupied with your husband’s extramarital affair that you become short tempered or impatient with your children. You may be so emotionally distraught that you neglect them, or are unable to give them the care and attention they deserve. It’s difficult to focus on the needs of your children while you are trying to deal with the issues associated with your husband’s affair –who the other woman is, how long the affair has been going on, why he cheated, who else knows, searching for proof of his infidelity so you can confront him about the affair, determining whether it’s just a fling or if his cheating poses a serious threat to your marriage. The mental stress you’re under can undermine your ability to be a good mother.

Your husband’s infidelity can also cause your children to have psychological problems that you, as a mother, will have to cope with, since you’re their primary caregiver. In younger children these problems may manifest themselves as depression, anxiety, problems in school, anti-social behavior or eating disorders. In addition to the problems mentioned above, older children and teens may also experience rebelliousness, promiscuity, or drug and alcohol abuse, and anger management issues.

Physically

If your cheating husband engages in unprotected sex, his infidelity puts you at risk for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) such as herpes, syphilis, or gonorrhea. STDs can cause cervical and other cancers, chronic hepatitis, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), and other complications. If your health deteriorates, how can you take care of your children? Who will care for them if you can’t?

If you’re expecting, many STDs can be life threatening, for you and your baby. Becoming infected with an STD while you’re pregnant, can endanger the health of your baby. Some of the harmful effects your baby can suffer include low birth weight, pneumonia, nerve damage, blindness, deafness, and meningitis, just to name a few. Your baby could even be stillborn.

Your cheating husband can expose you to other STDs such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, which have no blatantly obvious symptoms, but can still seriously affect your reproductive system. Left detected and untreated, you could develop pelvic inflamatory disease (PID) which often leads to infertility, thus eliminating your chance to have more children. Even if you’re able to conceive, PID can cause serious complications, such as an ectopic, or tubal pregnancy which can be potentially fatal to you and your unborn child.

As for other health matters, recent studies have shown that many infidelity victims experience post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSD) similar to those experienced by combat veterans. The trauma of discovering your husband’s infidelity can cause you to experience panic attacks, crying spells, rapid heart beat, elevated blood pressure, difficulty breathing, shock symptoms, chest pains, heart palpitations, sleep disturbances, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, hyper-vigilance and other physical and emotional effects on your health.

Financially

If your cheating husband's extramarital affair progresses to the point of separation or divorce, it could affect your ability as a mother to financially provide for your child – especially if your husband refuses to meet his financial obligations. Without your husband’s income, you may be forced to lower your standard of living.

If your husband refuses to meet his financial obligations regarding alimony or child support, you may not be able to support your children in the manner they are accustomed to living. . Consider the financial implications a divorce would have on your and your children's living arrangements, health care, education, transportation, and the like.

You could end up having to work if you’ve been a stay-at-home Mom. Or if you’re a working mother, you may have to take a second job to make ends meet. This can severely limit the time you spend with your children. An unexpected divorce or separation can put an unsuspecting wife and mother in a serious financial bind.

Why as a Mother, You Cannot Afford to Be the Last to Know

That’s why it’s so important for you to educate yourself about infidelity – especially if are a mother. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs. If you have children, and your husband is cheating, you cannot afford to be the last to know.

Forewarned is forearmed. Make it your business to familiarize yourself with the early warning signs of infidelity, as well as the subtle signs of an impending or an ongoing affair. This way you can take positive action at the first sign of trouble. Your children’s future, and the future of your marriage could well depend on your ability to spot the telltale signs of infidelity in time.

For the sake of your children, you need to familiarize yourself with the both the obvious and the subtle signs of infidelity. That way, if your husband is cheating you can find out before it’s too late. You’ll be in a position to protect yourself legally, financially, sexually and emotionally. But knowing what to look for is the key.

Learn How to Spot the Signs in Time

For Mother's Day, do yourself and your children a favor and familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity., so you'll never be caught by surprise. Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook. Click here or go to http://www.ishecheatingonyoubook.com/ to order your copy today.

Also available as an e-book from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html

Meanwhile, request a free copy of my tip sheet which describes the 21 major categories of infidelity signs. E-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with 21 categories-bmd in the subject line.

For more information about Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, click here or visit http://ishecheatingonyou.blogspot.com/

For more information about infidelity, cheating husbands, or extramarital affairs, visit

http://freeinfidelitytipsheets.blogspot.com/

http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/

Emotional Infidelity Can Lead to Sexual Infidelity

Is your spouse or significant other a little too chummy with someone of the opposite sex? --- perhaps a workmate, a neighbor, an old schoolmate, or an online friend? DO NOT TREAT THIS LIGHTLY. Close friendships of this type can easily progress to emotional infidelity, which can often lead to sexual infidelity, even if that was not the original intent. It could be the beginning of the end for your marriage or relationship.

The Danger of Opposite Sex Friendships

Far too many people underestimate the danger of close friendships with members of the opposite sex, because they start out innocently enough. In the early stages, there is no sex involved. Very often, the person involved in this type of friendship does not realize how much of a threat it can be to his or her marriage or relationship. If you complain about it, your partner may simply ignore you, or brush off your concerns as jealousy or paranoia.

How Emotional Infidelity Becomes Sexual Infidelity

However, if your spouse or significant other becomes emotionally dependant on this opposite sex friend, and starts sharing hopes, dreams, special moments and intimate information with them, instead of you, a strong emotional bond will develop. It the situation is not put into check, this bond will progress to emotional infidelity, which will eventually lead to sexual infidelity. Your marriage or relationship may be at stake.

Emotional Infidelity in Real Life – Brad, Jen and Angelina

A prime example of emotional infideity is what happened between Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, and Angelina Jolie. Brad and Angelina met and became close friends while filming the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Jennifer Anniston knew of their developing friendship but did not take it seriously. The end result: the friendship between Brad and Angelina grew into a strong emotional bond which developed into an emotional affair. (They both claimed that they were not sexually involved at the time) The emotional infidelity that developed between them, progressed to sexual infidelity which undermined Brad and Jen’s marriage and ultimately led to their divorce. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been a couple since that time, and have biological and adopted children together.

The lesson here is clear: If you value your marriage or relationship,
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE DANGER OF AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.

Is Your Marriage or Relationship in Danger?

Is your spouse or significant other involved in a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex that is in danger of becoming emotional infidelity? Do you have a very close friendship with someone of the opposite sex that may be bordering on emotional infidelity? The quiz below will help you evaluate the situation.

FREE Emotional Infidelity Quiz

To evaluate your situation, request your FREE copy of the Emotional Infidelity Quiz which comes with a free tip sheet on 13 Ways to Keep Opposite Sex Friendships from Becoming Emotional Infidelity E-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “emotional infidelity quiz and tip sheet - b” in the subject line.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Infidelity

For help in spotting the subtle signs of emotional infidelity, you might want to invest in a copy of
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs. This book covers practically every known sign of infidelity including the subtle signs people usually overlook, and can expose all types of infidelity – emotional infidelity, workplace infidelity, online or internet infidelity, sexual infidelity and more. Most signs apply to both cheating women and cheating men. Is He Cheating on You? is also available as an e-book for customers who live outside the United States. For more information about Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, click here or visit http://ishecheatingonyou.blogspot.com/

To order your copy of Is He Cheating on You? now click one of the links below

Order softcover now - $29.95 + shipping and handling
($4.95 US shipping or $12.95 shipping outside the USA)

Order e-book version now - $37 (for immediate download)