There are “top 10 lists of infidelity signs” all over
the internet. But you should never rely solely on one of these lists to tell if
you have a cheating mate. You can be
easily misled if you do.
Over reliance on one of
these so-called “signs of infidelity lists” can lull you into a false sense of
security and put you in the awkward position of being the last to know. Or it could also cause you to falsely accuse
an innocent mate.
Here’s why:
How You Can Be Deceived
Not seeing any of the “classic
signs of infidelity” is no guarantee that you have a faithful mate. Since these signs are all over the Internet, a
cheater can easily find them. So these
are the first signs the cheater will cover up.
After all, how hard can it be to cover up 10
signs?
On the other hand, seeing
one or more of the so-called "top 10 infidelity signs" may not
necessarily mean your partner is having an affair. There are a number of reasons totally unrelated
to infidelity why your spouse or significant other might display one or more of
these signs. For example, some of the
signs of infidelity on a typical “top 10 list” are also indicative of someone
with a drug, alcohol, or gambling problem – or someone planning a surprise for
their mate.
A Typical Top 10 List
Here are the signs of infidelity that usually appear
on a typical “top 10 list”
1. Frequent, unaccounted for absences.
2. Suspicious phone behavior
3. Coming home late from work
4. Money missing from the bank account
5. Numerous lies or excuses
6. Increased concern about clothing or physical
appearance
7. Unusual/ unexplained charges on the credit card
bill
8. Complaints, arguments, picking fights over trivial
things
9. Decrease in sex life
10. Lipstick, make-up, cologne/perfume on collar or
other areas of clothing
The Problem with The Top 10 Signs
Knowing the top 10 signs of infidelity won’t help you
catch a cheating mate. When it comes to something as serious as
infidelity, there are far more than 10 factors
involved. It’s
impossible to determine whether or not mate is cheating on the basis of a mere 10
signs.
What then, should you do if you suspect
infidelity?
Focus on 21 Areas of Concern
To really make an accurate
assessment, you should focus on 21 areas
of concern. There
are 21 major categories of infidelity signs.
Each category consists of from 19 to 92 signs. Some of the signs are obvious. But the majority are subtle and easy to
overlook. Since no two cheaters will display the exact same signs, knowing what
to look for is the key.
To give you an idea of the type and
number of infidelity signs in each category, I’ve listed five of the 21 major categories below:
CONVERSATIONAL CLUES
What the cheater chooses or refuses to
talk about can alert you that he or she is having an affair. They may start mentioning
new people, places or things, while the people, places and things they used to
talk about are no longer a part of their conversation. There are 70 conversational clues you can listen
for that can give you valuable information about your partner's affair.
HOW HE OR SHE RELATES TO YOU
The cheater's involvement with someone
else will cause him or her to treat you differently -- even on a subconscious
level - in over 70 different ways. This is a key area where if you know what to
look for, you can spot telltale signs of infidelity that even a private
investigator might overlook.
HIS OR HER BEHAVIOR AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX
Studies show that a cheater is most
likely to have an affair with someone they already know -- a neighbor,
co-worker, business associate or family friend. If you know what to look for,
there are 71 signs of infidelity
that can help you figure out who the other woman or other man might be. The way the cheater acts around their secret
lover will usually give them away.
DAY-TO-DAY BEHAVIOR
Most people have a basic routine they
usually follow each day. A cheater will often display a dozen or more of the 92 deviations from their normal pattern
of behavior. These deviations are
important telltale signs.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
A cheater will express a sudden desire
to look more attractive. He or she will
begin to enhance or upgrade his or her appearance in some way. So if your mate suddenly embarks on a drastic
makeover, it's probably to impress their lover, not you. There are at least 76 different changes in wardrobe,
grooming habits, and personal hygiene which indicate that he or she is having
an affair.
(For a complete list of the 21 major categories,
click
here)
Don’t Be
Misled
Do not rely on the presence
or absence of the top 10 signs of infidelity, or you could easily be
deceived. You don’t want to jump to
conclusions and accuse an innocent mate. Nor do you want to set yourself up to
be the last to know. For two “real-life”
accounts of just how deceptive
these top 10 lists can be, see the article entitled How 2 Women Were Fooled by the Top 10 Signs of Infidelity.
NOTE: The
popular infidelity reference book Is
He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs goes into much greater detail
about the 21 major categories of infidelity signs.
