Will He Leave You for the Other Woman?

ATTENTION
To read my comments on Jenny Sanford’s interview in the September 2009 issue of Vogue magazine about her husband’s affair, click here

or visit my page at Examiner.com
http://www.examiner.com/x-17416-NY-Infidelity-Examiner
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Will He Leave You for the Other Woman?

You found out your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you.

The one question you keep asking yourself over and over is;

“Will he leave me for her?”

There is a way to tell, but the answer depends on several things, including:

● how close he and his mistress have become

● what kind of person she is

● what stage the affair is in

● what he stands to gain or lose.

There are certain signs of infidelity that can tell you whether his affair with the Other Woman is a serious threat to your marriage or relationship, or if it’s just a fling.

The 5 signs below are indications indicate that your husband or boyfriend is likely to leave you for the woman he’s been seeing behind your back.

1. He has a heavy financial investment in her, or in the affair.

If you find financially-related signs of infidelity which indicate that he’s paying her rent, mortgage, car note, utilities, credit card or other major bills; or find signs that he’s regularly depositing money into her bank account, the situation does not look good. Especially if the two of you are married. If he’s willing to use family funds to finance his affair, or keep his mistress happy, this is a very bad sign.

2. He begins to distance himself from you, your family, and mutual friends.

Distancing himself from you can manifest itself in many ways. He may no longer want to go places or do things with you – even things the two of you once enjoyed doing together. He may make excuses, or flat out refuse to attend family gatherings with you, or socialize with mutual friends. These are just a few of the signs that he’s gradually removing himself from your world, and becoming more firmly entrenched in hers.

3. He spends holidays, weekends, or takes regular vacations with her.

The frequency and duration of the time he spends with his mistress can be a big indication that he’s planning to leave you for her. Holidays, weekends, and vacation time are usually reserved for family. If he’s spending couple time, or family time with her, that’s a sure sign that their relationship is more than just a fling.

4. He and his mistress share a common passion.

If he and his mistress have many interests in common, or share a common passion – golf, foreign films, horseback riding, photography, stamp or coin collecting, or some other hobby or pastime that is near and dear to his heart -- the likelihood is very high that he will leave you for her. If he’s doing all the fun things in his life with her, and all the boring, day-to-day things with you, that only increases his desire to be with her.

5. He has bonded emotionally with her.

Has he stopped sharing his inner thoughts with you? Does he no longer discuss his aspirations or the goals he wants to achieve? Do you find out about important things in his life after the fact? If he’s now confiding in his mistress rather than you, the situation is very grave indeed. If she is the first person he calls to talk to when something significant happens to him -- good or bad, he has bonded emotionally with her, and you have ceased to be a priority in his life. If he’s sharing his hopes, dreams, fears, and future plans with her, and constantly turning to her for emotional support, it’s just a matter of time before he leaves you for her.

What if You Don’t Find Any Signs

If you don’t see any of these or similar signs, then either his affair is still in the early stages, or
it’s not a threat to your marriage or relationship – yet.

Either way, you need to take positive action because the longer the affair continues, the greater the likelihood that it will become serious as time goes on. The bonds he shares with his mistress will probably strengthen over time.

Check His Mistress Out

It’s also advantageous for you to know who his mistress is, so make it your business to find out. For details on how this can help you, see the article entitled What You Should Know About Your Husband’s Mistress and Why.

If you need to trace a phone number or an e-mail address to find out her name, use CheatingSpousePhoneSearch.com or CheatingSpouseEMailSearch.com or a similar reputable service. Once you have her name, go to CheatingSpouseBackgroundCheck.com and run a background check to find out as much as about her you can.

If she’s married, or has children, that complicates matters for your husband or boyfriend and makes it less likely that he’ll leave you for her – even if you do find one or more of the signs mentioned above.

If a discreet online background check reveals that she has a criminal background, a questionable past, a reputation for being a home wrecker or a gold digger, bringing this to you’re his attention may keep him from making a terrible mistake.

Take Action Before It’s Too Late

That’s why it’s important to spot the warning signs of infidelity while the affair is still in the early stages. See the article entitled 3 Things a Wife Stands to Lose by Being the Last to Know.

You’ll have a valuable window of opportunity to get your marriage or relationship back on track before the affair reaches the point of no return.

If your relationship can’t be saved, or if you’d rather not even try, knowing in advance that he might leave you gives you a chance to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. If you’re married, it gives you time to put some legal and financial safeguards in place before he surprises you with divorce papers, or decides to simply walk out on you and move in with her.

For a list of practical steps you can take, request a copy of the free tip sheet “How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand” by e-mailing InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “Upper Hand - b” in the subject line.

Copyright 2008-2009 Ruth Houston

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses and extramarital affairs, visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/